This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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