so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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