You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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