i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
