Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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