we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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