Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
