remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
