So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
