I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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