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The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
