Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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