I'm really into asian looking animals
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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