the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
