Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
