Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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