somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
