Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
