I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
