Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This is my gift to your gina
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I want a musical about memes.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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