I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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