Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
