It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
