whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize