my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
