This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've blown a few things in my day
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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