why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
