Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
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Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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