I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
