Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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