he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
