Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
