You're my little dorito
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
