did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i permit you to call me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
