the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's rum buckets o'clock
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize