laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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