so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This house was built for laser tag.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
