I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
