She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
