The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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