tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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