come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
