I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
