My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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