When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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