Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize