Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
