I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
