My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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