Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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