Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
