Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
