And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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