I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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