Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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