My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
