butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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