Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
