I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
