just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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