I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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