We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
