I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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