Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
