sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sober January is a disaster.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
