Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
