what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
