tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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